Sonship Identity Overcomes Powerlessness
When we integrate who Father says we are at the point of pain wonderful change occurs.
“A bill arrived that was overdue, with late fees. Once again my wife became critical of me; things always seem to end up being my fault. I try to keep peace with her. I have tried to talk with her about it so many times. It just feels hopeless.”
Most people I work with in prayer ministry at some level struggle with a sense of powerlessness. There is a repeated pattern of struggle with their spouse, child, boss, even their self. They have tried to overcome it numerous times and just have not been able to be successful. Often they haven’t seen the skill set needed to overcome. I can mention some of these skill sets such as: keeping the conversation safe, standing up for yourself without putting the other down, and setting boundaries; however, the person often feels like they can’t apply these skills, they feel powerless, hopeless.
Understanding the roots to this gives a paradigm snapshot of effective prayer ministry. It starts by understanding the nature of abuse and personhood.
Sonship Identity is defined as someone who feels comfortable in their own skin. This comfort with ourselves and who we are is borne out of our mental and emotional boundaries being respected and our physical space being protected. All abuse involves the crossing of these boundaries.
“What’s wrong with you, don’t you even care about your grades?”
There’s no real dialogue here, no seeking to value and know the heart of the other, where their struggle is, or how we might help. There’s a demeaning of thought and feeling. Demeaning words imply fault or defect. It ultimately treats the person like an object, “I don’t care how you feel or what you think, do what I say.” This is how I would treat an object – like a nail – I don’t care how it feels, I pound on it whenever I want.
This treatment communicates the child has inherent flaws and it brings a sense of powerlessness. It makes them feel like they don’t just have a problem that can be worked out through the proper steps but rather that it is hopeless, they’re flawed.
Developing personhood gives us the confidence to risk trying, to be able to problem solve. When we have lived with the dignity of having our boundaries protected, we learn to love well, to respect ourselves and to respect others.