Fathering Leadership

Seeking Rest in the Father’s Love

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Seeking Rest in the Father’s Love

Isaiah 66:1, 2 Thus says the Lord: “Heaven is My throne, And earth is My footstool. Where is the house that you will build Me? And where is the place of My rest?  For all those things My hand has made, And all those things exist,” Says the Lord. “But on this one will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, And who trembles at My word.”     

At one time in my Christian walk I would awake at 5:30am and go to my church to pray each day, then study the Bible from 8 until noon. Almost everyday it seemed like I would try to fast. Unfortunately most days I ended up buying a box of Captain Crunch cereal and eating the whole thing for lunch! I desperately wanted to have Smith Wigglesworth’s anointing, to be a spiritual giant.resting in love

I sought intimacy with God but I sought it wrongly. I was trying to build God something through my works, to build an anointing and enough sacrifice to please Him. I had not learned to simply receive what He freely offers through humility and brokenness.

Father desires for us to know Him but because of misconceptions we have about who our Father is, we often end up discouraged. Our efforts end up not bearing the fruits we had hoped for. We try to work hard for Him, develop  something for Him. We try to do something rather than resting in His love.

However, all things are made by Him so there is nothing left to do. We’re just supposed to be with Him.

The very act of trying to do for God ends up keeping us from Him. 

Ps.131:1-2 — Lord, my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me. Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, Like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me.It takes humility to let go of our own efforts and simply receive but it brings a glorious freedom.

Zach.4:6 — Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ Says the LORD of hosts.

Ps.127:1 — Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it… 

Let us labor only to enter into His rest. (Heb. 4:11)

Fathers Love Connection and Empathy

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Living in Fathers love connection is what makes life worth living.Fathers love Connection

  • You feel connected, grounded, and valued.

  • You have motivation to grow in life and reach your goals.

  • Your people skills blossom, propelling you forward.

Learning what empowers love reveals the path to activate love.

An examination of 1 Corinthians 13 verse by verse will help.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Verse 4— Love endures long and is kind; love never is envious,

is not boastful, does not display itself haughtily.

Fathers Love Connection and Empathy allows you to see that other people are on a journey just like you are.

  • They have hurts they’ve yet to work through.

  • They have learning curves they’ve yet to complete.

In knowing this, you can express patience toward their shortcomings and ways they still need to grow.

You now have compassion, understanding we all struggle in certain ways. The fruits of patience and kindness naturally spring forth when there’s empathy.

Verse 5— It is not conceited; it is not rude and does not act unbecomingly.

Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way,

for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful;

it takes no account of the evil done to it.

As Fathers love connection grows ever deeper, that love resolves fears of abandonment and inferiority ever deeper. (1 Jn.4)

This frees you from needing to strive to get your own needs met through conceit or touchiness or acting out.

Verse 6—It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness,

but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

This is not a focus of an angry God that punishes sinners and stands in wait to judge.

This is a deep knowing that sin hurts people and keeps them from love. Love enables you to hate the behavior but love the sinner and feel compassion for his lostness.

Verse 7— Love bears up under anything and everything that comes,

is ever ready to believe the best of every person,

its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances,

and it endures everything.

When you are filled with Father’s love connection:

  • You believe the best of others.

  • You don’t walk in cynicism or suspicion.

  • You have the ability to walk in the vulnerability of being trusting until proven wrong—your heart can stay open.

Even if another’s behavior proves untrustworthy, you feel love and compassion as you use boundaries to express that love.

 

Gauges of the Heart

This list is not for the purpose of fault finding or condemnation, rather it is for showing us areas of our heart that still need to connect to God in deeper ways so we can be living disciples for all the world to see.

If you find yourself impatient, touchy, jealous, or suspicious – don’t beat yourself up over this. Simply turn towards God and reconnect to His love; He is full of mercy and grace.

Related Posts
  • Fathers Love
  • Sonship
  • Fathering Leadership

Sonship Empowers Receiving Instruction and Correction for Growth

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Sonship Empowers Receiving Instruction and Correction for Growth

God wanted to bring growth to my life. At first I battled embracing sonship to receive this growth in the package it came in. Let me explain.

When I was in my 20’s, I felt like ministry was not really working out for me, so I had the bright idea to try selling cars, of all things. I worked with a guy named E.T. He was a cool guy, always fun to be around, not judgmental of others or of his own lifestyle choices, which you might have called “loose,” to say the least. I was a young zealot of a Christian in those days, and one day I made some judgmental comment wherein E.T. said, “Robert, you’re tight.” He took it upon himself to elaborate on the number of ways I was not open and giving to other people. Sonship Empowers Receiving Instruction and Correction for GrowthNeedless to say, I did not really understand or appreciate this comment.

I went to my office fuming. “If E.T. knew what I gave in tithes and offerings he would not call me tight,” I thought. As I cooled off a little, I was able to ask God if there was any truth to E.T.s statement.

God began opening my eyes to many ways that I was actually tight. It flashed in my mind how I would often hide my demo (the car I was loaned from the dealership to drive), so if a customer came for service who needed to borrow a car to drive, the manager would look out the window and see some other salesmen’s demo to offer them. I realized that just because I give my tithe and some offerings, there are many other ways God wants me to be giving. Money is not the only way to give.

A whole new picture of what it means to give opened up. As I embraced a broader lifestyle of giving, a broader array of God’s blessings came into my life.

Are you willing to ask God today if you are giving in all the ways you could be?

Prayer Ministry – Joy Development

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Prayer Ministry – Joy Development Is An Important Foundation to Living As an Overcomer

Introduction
Prayer Ministry Joy Development gives us a foundation for life to live restfully from love rather than striving from a base of shame wherein Prayer Ministry Joy Developmentmistakes and corrections are not tolerable. Our family life, our work projects and relationships, school and studying, learning new skills, can all be done joyfully rather than dreadfully with the right foundation.

Shame
Consider George. He went to a conference and learned about the power of combining fasting with waiting in God’s presence. The promises given were many, everything from intimacy with God to greater rest in the midst of circumstances to greater discipline to accomplish. George set out with great “intensity” to fast and wait on God, dreaming of finally feeling successful. When his wife didn’t share his enthusiasm, he was disappointed and became short with her. His fervor faltered and a fear of failure extinguished his determination to be spiritually significant. George ended up feeling defeated and condemned.

When we set out with a vision for something with “intensity,” that usually means we are trying to be good enough to be loved and acceptable.

Love
Consider a loving father’s joy on the day his child is born. The child has yet to accomplish a single thing and yet there’s a joyful rejoicing and elation just because the child is there. Experientially knowing that God has deep joy over you just because you exist is an important aspect of experiencing His love for you and coming into rest and living from a place of joy.

1 John 4:18 indicates to us that fear is the absence of love. Joy expresses the opposite of this in a deep way. If God feels joy over me then my making a mistake and getting berated is not a part of the equation.

Zephaniah 3:17 – The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy. God exults over you, He is at rest in His love toward you, your mistakes don’t rattle Him. He is so excited about you He shouts for joy!

Conclusion
Living from a base of love takes away our striving and fear of failure. It empowers us to face the vulnerability of learning – even with all the setbacks that are an inevitable part of the process – with joy rather than frustration.

Fathering Leadership Seen in Servant Leadership

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Fathering Leadership Seen in Servant Leadership

Here are four pictures from Mark 10 on servant leadership and walking in the Father’s love.

Mk.10:13-16 Children
Little children were coming to Jesus. The disciples tried to stop it. “Don’t bother the master, where are your manners,” they said. Jesus became indignant, “Being childlike is the only way to enter the kingdom.” He said it is not about hierarchal leadership, making people respect a position. It is about childlike simplicity, childlike wonder and awe, childlike faith that you can crawl into God’s lap without thought of self-consciousness.

Mk.10:17-24 Rich Young Ruler
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom.” Again Jesus speaks to those that have position, power, or security in temporal things as opposed to those who have greater riches in eternal things. This is a very hard word for those whose identity is in the temporal.

Fathering Leadership Seen in Servant LeadershipMk.10:35-45 Sons of Zebedee
They wanted position: “Jesus, we want you to do for us whatever we ask.” But apparently they had no fear to talk with Jesus about such things. He was very approachable. He was not hung up on positional authority being honored. Jesus said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them…Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Mk.10:46-52 Blind Bartimaeus
He cries out and the disciples shush him, believing that Jesus is too important to be disturbed by a meager blind man. Jesus, not only stops to talk to the man, but even asks what He can do for him. Jesus allows Himself to be interrupted in order to heal (serve) someone.

It’s all about love–putting more value on people and relationships than positions and protocol. He was a true servant-leader. Picture that.

Only Love Brings Christian Maturity

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Only Love Brings Christian Maturity is a primary concept for all growth. We can’t be forced or scared into maturity.

Only the Father’s Love can cause a heart to feel secure enough to blossom.

Empowerment for Maturity

Understanding how maturity occurs is a very powerful tool in our hands for freedom. So many Christians get stuck “working harder” and end up battling condemnation. 1 John 4:18 says that “perfect (mature) love casts out fear.” When love is mature in us, it frees us of fear. All fear is based in some form of not believing we are loved.

Shame – Fear – Control Stronghold

There is a concept called the shame-fear-control stronghold by Chester and Betsy Kylstra. When someone is controlling (whetOnly Love Brings Christian Maturityher through overt anger or passive withdrawal) and relationship is cutoff, it is driven by fear. Fear, in turn, is driven by shame. Shame is based in lies we believe about ourselves. These lies are worded as such:  “I’m flawed,” “I’m helpless,” “I’m bad,” “I’m dirty,” and so forth. Prayer Ministry is the tool that can change this.

Love Not Law

It is love that addresses both fear and shame. So in a very real sense, all sin and shortcoming is about a love deficit. There is a lacking, a shortage, or deficiency of love. Something in my heart is struggling to believe that God is good and loving and has the very best in mind for me. Therefore, trying harder, sacrificing, and living “white-knuckle” Christianity does not mature us anymore than shaking an empty piggy bank more violently will produce any coins. Romans 7 says that the law is what stirs up the sinful passions of the flesh, not what restrains it. Knowing we are loved at a deep heart level sets us free from fears and the need to control. It empowers us to rest and to respond to the “unrest” of others with maturity and compassion. Fear will be “cast out” and love will take its place.

Father Loves You

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Father Loves You brought healing in my life.

Jack & Trisha Frost of Shiloh Place Ministries laid such a foundation of the Father’s love in my life. As you read today’s post, see if you heart can embrace God’s passion for you.

God is not ashamed tFather Loves Youo be called your Father. He delights to be a Father to you and to have you as His child. He is passionate in His love toward you. You are the apple of His eye. He rejoices over you with joy and with singing. He is thrilled to be your Father and to have you as His child. You are the child in whom He loves and in whom He is well pleased, just like Jesus.

He’s not ashamed of you, put out by you, nor disappointed in you. You are not a burden to Him. He loves you. His banner or standard over you is love. His total heart response toward you is love. He never thinks a negative thought about you. His thoughts toward you are good and loving, to give you hope and a future.

All things are opened to His eyes. There is nothing you’ve ever done that He didn’t already know about before He created the heavens and the earth. Your failings and short comings do not challenge or threaten Him in any way. He is all powerful and all knowing. He is fully able to finish the work He began in you. His total heart response toward you is love. He is love!

Two Levels of Obedience Law or Love?

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Two Levels of Obedience Law or Love?

Two Levels of Obedience Law or LoveWhy do I speak kindly with my wife and show her patience? Is it just because it is the right thing to do? Maybe it’s because I don’t want to look like someone who is curt or angry. Maybe I fear God will be angry with me if I don’t. These types of responses all represent one level of obedience, actually a level where many of us live.

Empathy is higher.

A second level is a place where love compels us, not fear. We could say that this is “really” living. When we live and obey at this level, we have moved from a semi-depersonalized existence into agape. But to do this requires a developed personhood where I have value for my own thoughts and feelings first. I need to be in a place of feeling comfortable in my own skin, embracing and rejoicing in who God has made me to be—where issues of shame that have made me feel like an object have been resolved, and I’m walking in the dignity of being God’s child, fearfully and wonderfully made. It is then that I can express that to others.Two Levels of Obedience Law or Love

Empathy: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.

Who Am I? Finding My Identity in My Fathers Love

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Finding My Identity in My Fathers Love

One of the phrases I used to use constantly was: “It doesn’t matter to me”. You could ask me if I wanted to go shopping or to the beach or whatever and that’s what I’d say. You could ask me where I wanted to go out to lunch or dinner or whether I wanted to take a break and that’s what I’d say-“Oh I don’t care, it doesn’t matter”.  What’s wrong with that? I came across to others as a real humble, selfless, caring for others type of person, but was I really? Maybe a little, but not totally. I didn’t realize I had given up my own identity a long time ago, and I really didn’t know what I wanted or felt. It wasn’t that it didn’t matter, but that I wouldn’t take the time to ask myself whether it did or not.

We all have a freedom of choice in most things. But I gave up my freedom to others, because what they thought of me, or what I thought they thought about me was more important than what I thought of me (got it?) As a child growing up, my parents of course expected me to behave, like most parents do. They were not harshly demanding or controlling but with my personality, I was what many would call the “compliant” child or the “peacemaker” in the family. I relinquished my rights to make decisions and found a much easier life in just letting others make decisions for me. Plus it made my family happy, my friends happy, even my enemies happy! And who doesn’t like to see others happy?

Finding My Identity in My Fathers LoveSo as I got older I wasn’t sure who I really was. Who am I? What do I feel? What matters and doesn’t matter to me? Am I still what others want me to be, or can I take on my own identity? I can read what the Word says I am: I am the righteousness of God; I am the head and not the tail; I am God’s beloved child in whom He is well pleased. But what does all this really mean to me? How is the Word affecting my life and my actions? Well, who we are really depends on who we believe we are. For as a man thinks, so is he ( Prov.23:7 ). So what am I believing?

We do not need to understand ourselves before we can believe in ourselves. Belief comes first. “Understanding is the reward of faith”, says Aurelious Augustous.  As I began to believe in myself, what the Word said about me and to believe that Father God really does love me unconditionally, I allowed myself to start saying what I wanted or didn’t want regardless of what others thought. I started to take chances-to put myself “out there” to possibly fail or look bad, because it didn’t matter anymore, I knew I was loved whatever the end result was. I started to lead worship, to teach, to touch, to pray for others. I started to say what I would like for dinner or what I’d like to do-and as I did, I began to understand myself more. God began revealing to me who He really made me to be, what my unique calling and destiny was. He showed me how He made me unlike any one else, who has my own special gifting, personality, opinions and that it’s good being me! I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and it doesn’t matter what others say or think. I am constantly growing in my understanding and belief in what He says I am which empowers me more to live out my life for Him and not others.

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