Fathering Leadership

Fathers Love Coming Home Exercise

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Fathers Love Coming Home 

“If you’re not at home in love you’re going to need drugs, or alcohol, or porn or food…” – Jack & Trisha Frost.

Fathers love coming home

In Father’s love circles we talk about being “at home in love“. It’s a place of feeling:

  • Connected to God’s love that casts out all your fears.
  • Safe and valued.
  • A heart response back to God that cries out, “Abba Father!”

We all feel our heart drift away from the Fathers love sometimes. We are triggered for some reason and we need to find our way back home.

This is a great concept that really hits home where we live, however, how do we work it out? In today’s post I will show you a very useful prayer ministry tool for coming home to the Father’s love.

 

Triggers

 

Step 1– Identify a negative experience you have had recently (please take a moment and do this).

Here’s an example, I’m driving along and a person zooms around me just in time to stop at a red light. However, I was going to turn right. I now have to wait for the light to change because “speedracer” felt the need to zip in front of me and stop. This event brings negative feelings to me. I feel angry, slighted, not considered.

 

What Do I Want Instead?

Step 2– In the negative situation you identified, what would you have wanted to happen instead?

I would have wanted to be more considered by that other driver. This question roots out my wrong belief. So in my case, I don’t fully believe I’m loved just for who I am, a son of God, made in His image. I believe I have to be considered by others to be loved and have worth.

 

I believe I am worthwhile if…?

Step 3– Identify your belief by adding what you wanted instead of what happened to the sentence stem: “I believe I am worthwhile if…”

In my case this is, “I believe I am worthwhile if I am considered.” As I do this exercise, I realize that when I have negative feelings it is because of an underlying shame belief. A belief that tears down who I am as a person, as a child of God.

 

Receive God’s Truth

The final step is to simply receive God’s truth in the place of the lie I have discovered. Truth — I have value simply because I am Fathers Love Coming Homea child of God. My worth does not depend on other people properly considering me. What is God’s truth in your case? Ask Him for it.

Drifting away from being at home in the Father’s love is something we all experience from time to time. This is a good tool to help you “come home.”

PS. – There are times we are triggered beyond what an exercise can address. At these times we need to take the step of getting some prayer ministry. If this is your case, contact us at info@fountainsoflife.org  This exercise is based off of Tony D’Souza’s Discovering Awareness series.

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Change Is Normal

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Sitting in Gods Presence in Devotions Will Help You Process Change

Have you ever thought of the fact that the only thing constant in life is change? Now, of course, God doesn’t change, but everything else does. And change can come in big ways or small. Big ways may be family additions, job changes, or moving to another city. Small ones are unpacking coats for the colder weather, fixing hot dogs instead of hamburgers, or driving home a different route. These little changes befall us practically every day.Sitting in Gods Presence in Devotions Will Help You Process Change

These changes are normal. I was on the way to church the other night and there was a car wreck just a few minutes from my house. My timing on arriving to church changed, as did my route. Ever get an inspiration for dinner, go to fix it and realize you don’t have some of the main ingredients? Another change. And what about cancelled flights? Banking errors? House repairs? I don’t think anyone ever plans for a broken water pipe or malfunctioning heater! (Although the smart ones have put money aside to be ready for those emergencies.)

Change is ineviSitting in Gods Presence in Devotions Will Help You Process Changetable, why can’t we just see this as normal? Sometimes we get really busy, but is it really that busy, or is really just the normal mode? There’s kids to manage, work, soccer practice, church events, dry cleaning, etc. I’ve discovered a little mind trick you can play on yourself. If we think of something as just normal, then we tend to relax more and just move forward. If, however, we feel we are “busy,” then we tend to stress out further. Life gets more hectic and tension levels spike up. “Oh my, there’s traffic this morning on the way to work!” Doesn’t this take place every day? Relax, you know it’s coming; it’s not a surprise.

If we take life as being normal to have changes, we’ll probably be calmer and more apt to handle whatever may come our way.  I mean, if we expect change to happen, then we’re not worried or stressed when it comes; we know it’s coming, right? And we might even be able to use the opportunity to share to those who are bursting under the pressure about the steady, constant God Who can give us peace in the midst of it.

How to Avoid the Trap of Forcing Christian Victory

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How to Avoid the Trap of Forcing Christian Victory and Learn to Align Your Heart Instead

Trying to Force Victory is the Most Common of Traps Christians fall into.

All movement must have an energy source. Consider if our combustion is the clean fuel of the Holy Spirit working through Avoid the Trap of Forcing Christian Victoryan aligned heart, or is it a fleshly, unclean source of performance. When we cook on an unclean fuel, the food will have a bad or even toxic flavor. In discovering this, our approach is usually to force out the wrong flavor or add enough other spices to cover it.

Often we have a present-tense mindset and approach to healing in the Body of Christ. We are taught to cast something out, resist wrong thoughts, deny pain and claim victory.

Consider the message of some of the top leaders in the church. Joyce Meyer and her best selling “Battlefield of the Mind.” John Bevere’s message to sufficiently “Fear God” in order to be blessed rather than cursed. Even the very grace oriented Joseph Prince will talk about “not accepting” condemnation. These aren’t necessarily bad as long as they’re not a singular answer.

As long as my heart and head are in agreement, choosing to stand on God’s word is wonderful and right. Yet, what if I try to walk in obedience in my finances for example, and I’m overcome with doubt; or what if I try to walk in rest, and anxiety rears its ugly head? Now it takes great effort and striving to keep going; it becomes difficult to simply just stand on His word.

Denial
The teaching is that if we deny what we feel long enough, eventually it will die, and the new feeling will win. However there are at least two problems with this. One, I don’t know hardly anyone with the discipline to consistently walk this out. Two, it’s a denial of what is actually happening in my heart.

Heart Kindness
This doubt or anxiety is telling me something. There’s an issue in my heart that needs to be dealt with. So instead of fighting these Avoid the Trap of Forcing Christian Victoryfeelings, it is much better to use them as the indicators they are to find the wrong belief they are exposing in my heart. As I can acknowledge my problem to the Lord and hold it before Him, He resolves it. Now my heart and head are back in agreement and I am able to wholeheartedly stand on His word.

Restful Freedom
God has true freedom for us and not just controlled behavior. The fruit of the spirit flows naturally when the Holy Spirit works through an aligned heart. The energy source is clean and healthy underneath. This leads to maintenance free victory, living Romans 6-8 without striving to resist or deny anything.

The Independence Wall Blocks Sonship Identity

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The Independence Wall Blocks Sonship Identity

This week I have heard of not one but two more Christian couples, who have been in church many years, yet getting divorced. In working in prayer ministry I commonly come across people frustrated at not being able to grow and overcome. So often believers The Independence Wall Blocks Sonship Identityhave understood aspects of healing without seeing the bigger picture, the actual path to emotional and spiritual maturity. So often we break the tops off of weeds without getting at the roots. A deeper look at the gospel releases to us the key.

The Fall
When a person gets saved, what are they getting saved from? To answer this question let’s consider what Adam lost. Adam walked in the vulnerability of holding his heart open to intimacy with God, knowing that he was loved and cared for simply because he was a child of God. This is a big deal, countless Christians are secretly angry at God because they feel He didn’t protect them or didn’t come through for them when they really needed Him. If you dig down deep enough there is always a shame lie at the root, “I’m flawed” or “I’m abandoned.”

Root of All Sin
The serpent deceived Adam into thinking God was not fully for him, “You will not certainly die… “God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”, i.e., “God’s holding out on you, there must be something wrong with you that He doesn’t trust you to give these things.” Adam did what we all do when we are hurt and angry, believing lies of shame. Adam partook of the fruit to know good and evil for himself, to put up walls of protection, to live in independence and be in control of his own life. This is the root of all sin and relational breakdown. Adam did it first and we have all followed ever since. I believe this was the beginning of the old man.

Identity
Choosing to live for self is choosing to live for an image. Adam, instead of having his identity in simply being a child of God, now had his own image to uphold. “I will decide good and evil, what is appropriate for myself.” He now had the image of his declared independence to promote, protect, and provide for. All striving is here, all performance, all fear, because, what if he can’t get himself taken care of? Most sin is a revolt of this striving not working out. “No one is there for me so I’ll get high and take care of myself.”

Conclusion
The challenge is that many Christians and churches are not aware of this. Yet this is our lifelong journey, our path to health and maturity. It is our willingness to become aware of our identity issues driving our sin and relational breakdown, holding our hearts open before God to work through them.

Prayer Ministry Tool Weaving Your Life Narrative

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The Prayer Ministry Tool Weaving Your Life Narrative Helps You Make Sense of Your Past

Making Sense
There are times when we feel like our lives just don’t make sense. “Why have so many bad things happened to me?” “Will I ever do anything significant with my life?”

Prayer Ministry Tool Weaving Your Life NarrativeWhen we don’t see clearly how God has woven together the pieces of our lives, it can leave us feeling confused and powerless, without a sense of destiny. When we can see His artistry in the tapestry of our lives we feel whole, grounded, life makes sense; we know where we’ve come from and where we’re going.

Ron was new at college and thought he had befriended a good group of guys. Yet, after a short while they quit talking to him and wouldn’t return his calls. He had no idea what he had done wrong. He could look back to his childhood and see similar experiences. He would just try and help people and they seemed to reject him for it. Ron tries not to think about these things, he’s tired of the pain and futility.

Watching football
If you’ve never allowed God to speak to you about the hurtful events of your life it can seem too big to untangle. It is like someone watching football for the first time, we realize it is good if our team moves the ball but have no appreciation yet of the intricacies of play calling or why certain penalties occur. We have to be patient and give it time.

Joseph
Joseph is a great example of someone allowing God to define his existence. Joseph suffered one of the worst abuses possible – he was a victim of human trafficking by his own family. (I saw this first hand in Thailand as a family sold their daughter into prostitution and bought a new truck with the money.) Joseph allowed God to touch any feelings of rejection, shame, or powerlessness he may have felt. He even allowed God to bring meaning and purpose out of his pain and losses. As Joseph was later raised up into the leadership of Egypt and his brothers stood before him he declared, “You (brothers) meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive” (Gen.50:20).

Learning who we are
I grew up in a broken home with an abusive father and God wove that into sending me around the world working with pastors in countries where almost all of them grew up just like that. Maybe your life doesn’t make sense to you right now; maybe you don’t know who you are. It’s okay. If you will be open to letting God define the events of your life, you will be amazed at the tapestry He weaves.

Spock Theology – Using Emotions Rightly

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You can’t overcome what you can’t acknowledge. Using emotions rightly is a huge key for Christian growth in your Christian devotions times.

I awoke early with that empty sensation in my stomach, anxious that I would be left high and dry. I could have simply cast down Using emotions rightlythese feelings and confessed faith, however, they had something to tell me. As I allowed them, faced them, I realized I was concerned about an upcoming speaking engagement. “What if I bomb?” “What if I don’t connect with people?” With all the benefits of understanding deliverance and faith, there can be times of going too far. God is desiring to do something in our hearts, but if we deny the impurity exists every time it arises, growth is not possible. God calls us to be diligent watchmen of the gardens of our hearts. So how do we do this? It starts in getting with God in your devotions to hold your heart before Him.

How to guard your heart

God admonishes, “Guard your hearts, for everything you do flows from them” (Proverbs 4:23). Guard means to watch, keep, observe, preserve. In three places within the scriptures, the Hebrew word is translated “watchmen.” How do we keep watch over our hearts? By observing our emotions. Emotions are the gauges of our heart that tell us if there is too much pressure or if it is overheating.

Using emotions rightly

Adjusted theology on emotions

Mr. Spock, the Vulcan character from Star Trek, says emotions are bad. We must master them so they don’t master us. And we have often heard this taught. Certainly if we are about to sin, this is good advice. However, a deeper use is in checking our emotions to understand what is happening in our heart, to watch and guard it. David did this repeatedly in the Psalms as did Jesus in the Gospels.

Tuning into emotions in devotions

As I tuned into my emotion of fear that morning and saw that what was behind it was an upcoming speaking engagement, I was able to lift that to the Lord. God reminded me that I have learned well how to present information; I’m not powerless, and I can apply what I’ve learned. Now you try listening to your emotions this week, watching over your heart, and bringing all your concerns to the Lord.

Overcoming Lifelong Roadblocks With Prayer Ministry

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Overcoming Lifelong Roadblocks With Prayer Ministry
Overcoming Lifelong Roadblocks With Prayer Ministry

Has your car ever been stuck in the mud? You give it gas again and again, putting it in forward and reverse. You get muddy as you try putting a rock under the tire. Nothing works. You feel powerless. Many people have an area of their lives like this. I know some people who have struggled with anxiety most of their lives, myself included. Others have never been able to rightly relate to a controlling mother-in-law. Some have battled anger and feel as if they never can get forward movement toward their dreams. Not giving up is a theme many movies have used to tug on deep heart strings; however, a key component to being able to not give up is to never stop learning.

Have you ever savored the work of a good carpenter? The intricate woodwork, the smooth fit and finish in a dark cherry; it’s exquisite. How does he do it? Skill and know how are clearly a big part, but also the knowledge of the right tool at the right time is huge. At our webinar this week we will discuss tools for removing blockages to being fully in the light so as to find growth in our issues. We will also explore techniques for more critically defining the fruit and root of our roadblocks which leads to more effectively overcoming them.

It is easy to feel discouraged over the things we’ve struggled with for years. There’s not only a sense of hopelessness but many times a feeling of loss. Nevertheless, these roadblocks actually can become our very stepping stones into our destinies as we are equipped with authority in the area of what we have overcome, and  have compassion for others who are stuck in a similar way.

How to Get Past Emotional Triggers to Hearing the Heart

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How to Get Past Emotional Triggers to Hearing the Heart.

Learning excellent interpersonal relationship skills is the mark of a Fathering leader.

A woman walks into her husband’s office and he immediately complains that she’s late. She sharply replies that she had to drop the kids off at school. Angered by this, the husband states that she should have planned better so as not to be late.

There was a major 20-year study of marriages where they looked at what skills that successful marriages have that unsuccessful marriages do not. The study unanimously found one skill predominant over every other. That skill was the ability to believe the best of one another even in an argument and not automatically assume that one partner had bad motives or that somebody was wrong.

Most arguments are usuaHow to Get Past Emotional Triggers to Hearing the Heartlly over a difference of opinion, a difference in priority, or a difference in value. So when a couple can hear each others’ heart and keep the conversation safe where each person can say what they’re feeling and what their priority is, a way forward can be found. However, even if we know this skill, many times it breaks down. Especially if we get triggered.

If we get triggered, the chances are not so good that we’ll be able to hear one another’s hearts, so what we often do instead is create drama. Cutting remarks, the silent treatment, some type of drama to avoid feeling something we don’t really want to feel.

A real tool we can use if we notice that the skill is breaking down is to simply ask ourselves the question, “What am I not wanting to feel here? What feeling am I trying to avoid through this drama I’m creating?”  In the case of the example we used at the beginning, it was a feeling of insecurity that the husband was trying to avoid, hence the angry tone and drama he was creating.

Let’s look at this scenario again in a different light:
A woman walks into her husband’s office and he immediately complains that she’s late. She sharply replies that she had to drop the kids off at school. He then tells of his concern as it got later and later, and how he felt insecure and that maybe she didn’t care what was important to him. With this, she calmly replies that she was rushing to get there, but one of the kids had left a book at home so she had to go back to get it, causing her to be late. Upon hearing this explanation, the husband defuses and apologizes for jumping to conclusions and creating drama.

Coming to the Light of the Fathers Love

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Coming to the Light of the Fathers Love is the basic step for all growth to build off of.

We all battle coming to the light sometimes. Our base in the Fathers love empowers us.

Have you ever hidden things about yourself? Maybe ways you’ve felt jealous of someone or threatened by someone? Coming to the Light of the Fathers LoveWays you’ve struggled with a habitual sin? Maybe it’s walking around with an angry edge but never really addressing it. This can often lead to feelings of condemnation, hopelessness, struggles with loneliness, or anxieties. One night at a restaurant I observed another couple who didn’t talk or look at each other the entire meal. The husband just sat there reading a book as they ate. There was no intimacy between them. Clearly they had some issues in their hearts that had not come to the light.

Hiding things about ourselves hinders fellowship and keeps us from feeling clean on the inside.

So often we try to handle things on our own, putting up a strong front, but this is independence. Independence is the opposite of fellowship. Independence is what blocks our true heartfelt connection with God and man. What is the key to effectively deal with this? It starts with understanding how to come to the light.

We come to the light when we risk trusting someone enough to open up to them. Exposing our interior secrets and struggles to another person shines a light into the dark corners of our hearts.

Is there someone who really knows you? Someone who knows you well enough to see your patterns? One to whom you trust enough to put the walls down and allow to speak into your life?

Coming to the Light of the Fathers Love1 John 5:7 says, “If we walk in the light… we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin.”

There are two primary things here. One, light brings us to experience true, effective fellowship wherein we feel connected and no longer lonely. And two, light is where the blood cleanses us, where it becomes effective, where our heart can truly receive forgiveness, and we feel clean.

If you’ve been in emotional pain, feeling cut off, struggling with anger or fear, take a step. Find someone you trust and begin coming to the light.

The Age of the Disordered Will

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Prayer ministry promotes acceptance and resolution of heart issues.

Acceptance and working to resolve our heart issues rather than force them may be the battle of our times. Prayer ministry is needed to fix this. This section of an article by Leslie Farber explains it.

“This has been called the “Age of Anxiety.” Considering the attention given the subject by psychology, theology, Prayer ministry promotes acceptance and resolution of heart issuesliterature, and the pharmaceutical industry, not to mention the testimony from our own lives, we could fairly well conclude that there is more anxiety today, and, moreover, that there is definitely more anxiety about anxiety now than there has been in previous epochs of history.

Nevertheless, I would hesitate to characterize this as an “Age of Anxiety,” just as I would be loathe to call this an “Age of Affluence,” “Coronary Disease,” “Mental Health,” “Dieting,” “Conformity,” or “Sexual Freedom.” My reason being, that none of these labels, whatever fact or truth they may involve, goes to the heart of the matter.

Much as I dislike this game of labels, my preference would be to call this the “Age of the Disordered Will.” It takes only a glance to see a few of the myriad varieties of willing what cannot be willed that enslave us: we will to sleep, will to read fast, will to have simultaneous orgasm, will to be creative and spontaneous, will to enjoy our old age, and, most urgently, will to will.

If anxiety is more prominent in our time, such anxiety is the product of our particular modern disability of the will. To this disability, rather than to anxiety, I would attribute the ever-increasing dependence on drugs affecting all level of our society. While drugs do offer relief from anxiety, their more important task is to offer the illusion of healing the split between the will and its refractory object. The resulting feeling of wholeness may not be a responsible one, but at least within that wholeness – no matter how willful the drugged state may appear to an outsider – there seems to be, briefly and subjectively, a responsible and vigorous will. This is the reason, I believe, that the addictive possibilities of our age are so enormous.” (1976, p.32)

Farber, L.H. (1976), Lying, despair, jealousy, envy, sex, suicide, drugs, and the good life. New York: Harper & Row.

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