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Empathy Drives True Fathers Love Connection

March 18, 2012 by Robert Hartzell

Empathy Drives True Fathers Love Connection

The lights are lowered in the big auditorium as the charismatic speaker steps to the podium. He has long known how to connect with people emotionally, morally, and evangelically. The audience feels lifted, inspired, and ready to try again. Unfortunately, all of this can occur without any real “connection” on the level of Fathers love driven empathy.

Empathy Drives True Fathers Love ConnectionEmpathy connecting is not based in what I want from someone, but rather in compassion, to give something to someone. Bill Clinton was a good “connector” yet he clearly struggled in how he treated women. So the question exists, how much did he really value people, how deep did his empathy really run?

A minister was head of many thousands of pastors in his association of ministers and he pastored a very large church. Many people looked to his example and influence, however, he feel into sexual sin and drug use. How did love not constrain him? So many people looked to his example. Where were the people that he surrounded himself with that connected with his heart and he with theirs. Where were the people that knew him well enough to pick up on the tell-tale signs and speak into his life? He was clearly visionary, clearly a “leader,” yet connecting in true empathy appeared to be lacking.

A person with zero empathy is a psychopath. A person with developed empathy can identify with another’s situation, feelings, and motives. They can make another feel felt, that he has allowed them into his heart and truly cares about their well-being. Empathy Empathy Drives True Fathers Love Connectiondrives compassion. Without empathy true repentance is impossible. I may be sorry I got caught or for the consequences I’ll face, but not for how my actions hurt the other person.

The good news is that empathy can be learned and developed. We can consider our interactions with others and talk them out with a friend or journal about them asking questions like, “Where were they coming from when they said that? What might be the motive behind why they acted that way?” It’s similar to the familiar adage of “putting yourself in the other’s shoes.” Empathy allows us to connect deeply, giving us more loving and intimate relationships.

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: compassion, Counseling, empathy

Overcoming Lifelong Roadblocks With Prayer Ministry

February 2, 2012 by Robert Hartzell

Overcoming Lifelong Roadblocks With Prayer Ministry
Overcoming Lifelong Roadblocks With Prayer Ministry

Has your car ever been stuck in the mud? You give it gas again and again, putting it in forward and reverse. You get muddy as you try putting a rock under the tire. Nothing works. You feel powerless. Many people have an area of their lives like this. I know some people who have struggled with anxiety most of their lives, myself included. Others have never been able to rightly relate to a controlling mother-in-law. Some have battled anger and feel as if they never can get forward movement toward their dreams. Not giving up is a theme many movies have used to tug on deep heart strings; however, a key component to being able to not give up is to never stop learning.

Have you ever savored the work of a good carpenter? The intricate woodwork, the smooth fit and finish in a dark cherry; it’s exquisite. How does he do it? Skill and know how are clearly a big part, but also the knowledge of the right tool at the right time is huge. At our webinar this week we will discuss tools for removing blockages to being fully in the light so as to find growth in our issues. We will also explore techniques for more critically defining the fruit and root of our roadblocks which leads to more effectively overcoming them.

It is easy to feel discouraged over the things we’ve struggled with for years. There’s not only a sense of hopelessness but many times a feeling of loss. Nevertheless, these roadblocks actually can become our very stepping stones into our destinies as we are equipped with authority in the area of what we have overcome, and  have compassion for others who are stuck in a similar way.

Filed Under: Prayer Ministry Tagged With: Counseling, Healing, How to Change, Life skills, webinar

Commando System Cleaner Prayer Ministry

May 22, 2010 by Robert Hartzell

Commando System Cleaner Prayer Ministry. Just as a computer system can be cleaned and optimized, so can your soul.

Prayer Ministry is effective for cleaning up thoughts, feelings, and attitudes that run in the background of your life.

Commando System Cleaner Prayer MinistryMany Christians live years shut down, with their “Operating System” running slow. Computer programs like Spybot – Search & Destroy, Advanced System Optimizer, and PC Pitstop, claim to stop unwanted programs from running in the background, clean your system registry, and even remove viruses, making your computer run much faster!

We can also have unwanted programs running in the background, replaying thoughts of how someone has mistreated us or how life just isn’t working out. This often occurs because of errors (lies) in our “system registry” that tell us God isn’t for us, or there is something wrong with us. These lies can give legal ground for an enemy “virus” to come in and exacerbate the problem.

There have been times where my “system” was running so slow I was practically shut down. It was hard to pray, read the word, or even to concentrate at work. I found myself wanting to eat more and just watch TV all the time. I finally went to a Prayer Minister where I discovered a number of past places I had hidden anger. I didn’t even realize it. ICommando System Cleaner Prayer Ministrythought I had dealt with all the anger in my life.

There is something so cleansing, renewing, and restoring of child-like innocence when we get all the “bugs” out of our system, clean out the pipes, and connect again to God. It is really wonderful to have communication channels opened and functioning again!

Filed Under: Prayer Ministry Tagged With: anger, Christian Counseling, Counseling

Sons Are Free to Learn

February 21, 2010 by Robert Hartzell

Sons Are Free to Learn. Spiritual orphans struggle to be teachable. Sons embrace the vulnerability to learn.

It is often quite challenging to stay open to new learning. This post will dig in to how sons develop this trait.

This is a follow up to an article I wrote two weeks ago, “Meekness is the Pass Key”.

Arthur Burk wrote an article on “Malabsorption”. It is like the Bible verse about ever learning but never coming to a knowledge of the truth. It is frustrating to have been a Christian for a long time and not realize any growth to speak of. Along with meekness being a key, I believe shame can also be a major factor.

Openness to be taught as well as diligence to learn and implement is an area that God has had to work on in me for a long time. It felt shameful not to know things and I was very unrealistic in my view of what it actually took to learn something. Here’s a quote that may shed some light for some people,

“To be vulnerable to new learning, to receive something from another, somehow seems to feel so insecure or touches such a sensitive shame nerve that it cannot be tolerated.” Facing Shame, Fossum & Mason

For a long time it was not okay for me not to know something, it could get me hurt. Not knowing how to chop wood right or fix something my dad asked me to or even to be quiet at the right time could bring my dad’s wrath.

Experiencing the Father’s love can bring freedom to risk, to try, fail, get back up again. There is a freedom to not have to live by a rigid rule system that puts everything in a box including my growth.

Filed Under: Sonship Tagged With: Counseling, Father's Love

The Fathers Love Changes Pastors Families

September 20, 2007 by Robert Hartzell

Fathers Love Changes Pastors Families is Amazing.

I never grow tired of hearing how the Fathers love changes pastors families.

Pastor Juan said, “I called my children and repented to them and told them I love them; when I get home I will also repent to my church and tell them I love them.” We hear testimonies of restitution and an embracing of agape vFathers love changes pastors familiesalues in place of works in every conference we do.

The Earthquake in People’s Lives

During the earthquake in Peru, as the church and relief agencies were mobilizing quickly, I thought, “Who is attending to the emotional ‘earthquakes’ in people’s lives on a day to day basis?”          

While in Peru we heard of a pastor who had built a very large church over many years. Many other churches were started all over the country as a result. A pastors network developed and they all loved this leader because he had a gift to make these various pastors feel supported and encouraged.

Unfortunately today he has left his wife of many years and is living in the US with his secretary. I know of a very similar story in Manila, Philippines. In India—many pastors physically abuse their wives. This is also true in China.

As a minister, you minister what you are. So what is coming down from these pastors as a standard over the men in the churches they preach in every Sunday?         

We believe in ministering healing and loved based values, not placing ministry above family, not having identity in how big we can grow our ministries. If we can stem the tide of the earthquakes in people’s lives, we can effect even more relief in families than in cases of natural emergencies. For every leader that begins to embrace these values, they will in turn influence all they minister to.

Thank you for helping us in this task!

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: Agape reformation, Counseling, ministry, Prayer

The Value of Change

July 22, 2007 by Cyndi Hartzell

The Value of Change is key to growing as a Christian.

Part of walking in sonship is learning to value change from a place of resting in Father God’s love. Let’s consider how this can happen.

In the beginning of every year, I (Cyndi) take the first month to seek the Lord for a word for the coming year—to prepare for what the year has in store. This January I heard the word “change”.

I thought, “Okay, this is going to be an interesting, possibly challenging year ahead.”              In many ways God has challenged us personally. One of our board members recently told us to “Go for the Glory!” God is calling us to greater faith and hence effectiveness in all we are doing around the world. Am I coming up to this? As I’ve just returned from ministering in one of Shiloh Place Ministries’ Agape Reformation schools, I’m pondering all the changes that happened in me and all the students that attended and I’m thinking, “What makes us want to change and can we change ourselves?”

Well, there are 3 things I believe that cause us to change:

1) We have to hurt enough that we have no choice but to change,

2) We have to learn enough that we have hope for change, and

3) We have to receive enough unconditional love that we are motivated toward change.  Pain is a great motivator for change, we’re just sick and tired of being sick and tired, and we just want the pain to go away.

The Word gives us hope that we can change. There are ways of forgiveness, repentance, confession—these paths that teach us and reveal a means by which our hearts can change. Change from the inside out. What about unconditional love?  Why is this so important? Because love covers…love never fails. Love holds the net under us as we launch into new things; it holds our hand as we confront the difficult people in our lives; it causes us to be unashamed of our past and allows us to look forward to our future. Love matures.

Change is always scary but not allowing God to change us is even scarier! God’s love allows us to jump into all He has, so lets go for it and do great things for God!

Filed Under: Sonship Tagged With: Counseling, How to Change, ministry, Shiloh Place

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