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Sonship Identity Strength

September 10, 2015 by Robert Hartzell

Productive Wilderness-Life Series (Part 3) – Integrating the Father’s Love

Sonship Identity Strength

In the last lesson we considered that pride, ego, and a slave mentality are defense mechanisms we sonship identity strengthuse when our sonship identity strength is breaking down. Let’s look closer at this.

Pictures of everyday “Wilderness-Life” conflicts that stretch us.

I’m standing in line at the bank and it’s not moving. I’m feeling trapped, anxious. There are only two people in front of me yet I’ve been waiting over a half hour with no end in sight. I start staring into the manager’s office, hoping he will see my predicament and do something!

In this example I’m expressing the fear of a slave mentality (someone needs to help me) as well as pride (I deserve better treatment) and judgment toward the bank (this is poorly managed). I was being stretched. Feeling trapped is a sonship identity lie, it suggests that God is not with me, not protecting me, not taking care of me.

In what ways are you are stretched?

I worked with a person who could not get over the immaturity he observed in his pastoral leadership. “How could God have allowed this person to be in leadership?! This leader never valued my input,” he said. He felt insecure and angry. Here is an identity lie of feeling flawed or not measuring up because others did not respect his ideas.

Another person came for ministry feeling angry and diminished because a co-worker seemed to consistently outdo them. His co-worker had a big mouth and constantly touted to the boss, or anyone else who would listen, his great accomplishments. He could not walk in love toward this co-worker and felt fearful about his own job security. Here’s an identity lie of God not being with the person, that they’re abandoned.

Let’s break this stretching down a bit.

Values Conflicts

A common way we get stretched is when the outlooks and values of others — right or wrong — conflict with our own outlooks and values. This creates tension and exposes our wrong attitudes and prejudices we often did not even realize we had. Many times we do know certain things that could be done better, but it is often beside the point.

This tension stretches our “valuing of others.”

We are forced to face growing in our awareness, tolerance, and acceptance of people who are different or even immature. This can be a great challenge when we are trying to walk in God’s love toward difficult people.

Ways we have judgments — narrowness, prejudice, and bigotry — are stripped away in a time of stretching if we will allow it.

For example, a statement like: “Co-worker, ‘My Big Mouth’, is an idiot. He has nothing to offer the company. He does more harm than good.” This is bigotry.

Seeing how we value others is so connected to maturing in God’s love! Moving from a need to self-protect (expressed in an angry edge, being standoffish, being opinionated, a need to be right, blame-shifting, and justifying) into basic trust (I’m loved, cared for, safe) expressed through attitudes of acceptance of others, walking in transparency, and love.

The fruit of this stretching is learning to be friendly and a willingness to appreciate differences of habit and viewpoint. Can I celebrate the strengths of others who are different? Can I walk in covering love toward their weaknesses?

You can’t give a ten-ton truck of truth to someone over a five-ton bridge of love.

Discovering our own spiritual orphan attitudes allows us to see that all human beings have worth and dignity and we develop our sonship identity strength.  

In the next post we will consider how spiritual orphan issues play out in legalism. The true roots of legalism are often misunderstood. Seeing it clearly is a path to freedom.

Filed Under: Sonship Tagged With: Sonship Identity Strength

Books

hmmdbookWant to go deeper in your experience of the Father’s Love? Get The Sonship Empowered Life, A Road Map to Growth and Maturity.

fatheringleadership5.5x8.5Want to grow deeper in your leadership creating a culture of growth for others? Get Fathering Leadership, Creating A Culture of Growth.

About Robert Hartzell

Robert Hartzell is the director of Robert Hartzell Inc. An organization dedicated to equipping people with tools for emotional health and Christian maturity. He also leads Fountains of Life, a missions ministry for equipping leaders in the nations.
Robert is the Author of The Sonship Empowered Life and Fathering Leadership. He is also a speaker on Fathering Leadership, The Father's Love, and Sonship.
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Comments

  1. Lynn says

    September 14, 2015 at 6:21 am

    Thank you So much once again !!

    Love and Blessings Always !!

    Lynn

  2. Pamela Oglesby says

    September 14, 2015 at 8:39 am

    This is another excellent article that makes me look at my behavior. Standing in the line anywhere when there are other employees visible and you are in a hurry is not a time when I am thinking of God.

    Blessings for you both.

  3. Chuck Lewis says

    September 14, 2015 at 9:15 am

    Robert, these truths you’re shared are life changing, thanks for the help!

  4. kelly says

    September 14, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Needed this insight today. Your articulation of a need to self-protect was spot on for me. Thank you!

  5. Cyndi Hartzell says

    September 16, 2015 at 8:41 am

    So glad this helped. We all tend to self-protect; we gradually open up more as we’re grounding in Father’s Love. Thanks for the comment.

  6. Cyndi Hartzell says

    September 16, 2015 at 8:42 am

    Thanks. You’re welcome.

  7. Cyndi Hartzell says

    September 16, 2015 at 8:43 am

    Thanks. Yes, it’s difficult to express Father’s love when we are hurried and busy. That’s why we need Him.

  8. Cyndi Hartzell says

    September 16, 2015 at 8:44 am

    Thank you, Lynn. I’m always blessed by your encouragement. Thanks for your readership. 🙂

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Books

hmmdbookWant to go deeper in your experience of the Father’s Love? Get The Sonship Empowered Life, A Road Map to Growth and Maturity.

fatheringleadership5.5x8.5Want to grow deeper in your leadership creating a culture of growth for others? Get Fathering Leadership, Creating A Culture of Growth.

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