Understanding Where Life Skills Come for True Mature Sonship

Understanding where life skills come for true mature sonship.

Consider the next example as a key way sonship life skills break down. Think of all the Facebook posts, tweets and emails you receive on President Obama. There is generally a common theme: in some way he is doing something wrong or violating our values. However, how often do you see a post on a prayer strategy for God to work in Obama’s life? We spend a lot of time focusing on the problems and very little on being a part of the answer. I believe this points to a much greater problem in the church at large.

Picture a girl that grew up in a great home. Her parents were very healthy emotionally. Her whole life she saw her parents resolve conflict in a respect-based way. There was no blame; everyone had a voice. No one was belittled for their thoughts and opinions, even when wrong. People were held accountable for their actions. Affection was prevalent. Fast forward years later when the girl becomes a young adult and meets an attractive young man. She notices fairly quickly little ways he lacks respect of other people’s boundaries. She may not have all the language for it, but she knows deep inside, “This boy is not like Dad.” Maybe at first she tries to call him on it. He accuses her of being overly sensitive or unable to take a joke. She understands that it is not funny and feels confident in that belief. Because of what was modeled for her by her parents, she can be secure, sense the wrong, drop him and move on to date someone else.

Most of us were not raised in such a home and do not have the ability to recognize these things. In this case, these emotional skills will have to be learned as an adult. Many people end up being hurt by others, however, the reality is, no one can hurt us unless we let them. It is easy to put all the emphasis on the predator being so very wrong, but the victim that allows the behavior also needs healing and growth.

Feeling powerless at times is a universal theme but there is no future in it. When I find myself complaining about someone or something, what is underlying that is a feeling of powerlessness. I am allowing that person or thing to affect my life; I am allowing it to influence and change me.

If President Obama is promoting policies that are anti-Israel or pro-abortion, yes, we need to have a voice, yet respectfully. We also need to be fasting and praying or our voice may be more based in our fears rather than in our faith. There is no place for complaining and gossiping about our president. Those things indicate much more than a president we don’t like. They reveal issues of victim thinking, powerlessness, and ways we still struggle to trust God; and these issues need to be dealt with.