Learning Skills for Overcoming is a Mark of True Sonship
Here’s an interesting principle for you: When you are consistently learning skills for overcoming, you don’t get stuck in life.
Consider this in terms of spiritual slaves versus those who walk in sonship. Slaves battle fear and need constant oversight. A key characteristic of Sonship is the ability to learn new skills, walk in their Father’s authority, and overcome. (Rm.8:15, Gal.4:1-7)
Think about it. Overcoming any problem you face in life — be it relational, financial, spiritual — has to do with resolving any shame issues you may have and then learning skills for overcoming to move forward. Let’s consider a few examples.
- You like to play basketball but other players are often better than you. You try harder but without success so you want to quit. However, if you can be teachable and seek help, you can identify skills you need to develop and improve.
- You are in sales and you’re struggling. Shame says you just don’t measure up, you’re not charismatic or outgoing enough. The truth is many non-charismatic people do very well in sales. If you can come out of shame and be objective, you can search out new skills and find ways you can develop the giftings you do have to be successful.
- You have battled weight gain for years, tried a multitude of diets, and yet haven’t succeeded. You have exerted your will-power repeatedly yet to no avail. Shame will try to tell you it is hopeless, you will never accomplish this. Nevertheless, even here, new skillsets are the key. Searching for those who have succeeded and getting a coach that knows what he’s doing can be very effective.
- You have a difficult spouse. I can hear someone saying, “But Robert, you don’t know my wife/husband.” However, the truth is that those who get respect and cooperation from their spouse are those who know how. I imagine some people will push back on my statement here. Here’s an article on this, Understanding the Sequence.
Many people find it very difficult to ask for help. “I’ve been in sales for years,” they say. “I’m just in a slump. I’m not going to seek further training from some know-it-all!”
Many struggle asking for help fearing they may appear weak, deficient, or needy. This is shame-based thinking. (Shame: says something is wrong with me.)
In my book “The Sonship Empowered Life,” I use the STAFF acronym: Secure Teachable Accountable Freedom Future. Let’s consider the first two, S and T.
Secure has to do with being secure in God’s love.
Teachable means that learning is switched on for you.
Growing in an experience of the Father’s Love means my identity is not based on the proficiency I have in certain skills. I am loved by God whether I do things right or wrong today. My identity resides in being His child, created in His image, not in my performance. This statement is easy to make, but takes a lifetime to walk out and live in daily. Life always brings us new challenges to overcome, so we are constantly needing to remain open to learning.
Knowing I’m loved empowers me to be teachable. It’s okay not to know things and it’s normal to need growth in certain areas. It’s also healthy to reach out and seek help and training.
I want to encourage you — don’t stay stuck. Take a step today. Learn something new. Be an overcomer.