The Beauty of a Great Message

When I hear a message that inspires me, fills me with hope and encouragement, gives me new ideas for my life, I love it! When I stand to speak to a group of people I feel a huge responsibility. The group gives their time and ideally their heart, to hear what I have to say. Therefore, I want to deliver. I want to share in a genuine way and share something that I know works from my own life experience. This task can present quite a challenge. I have found a sermon outline template that helps a lot and can be used when sharing any message or lesson. As a result, I’d like to share that with you.  

Sermon Outline Template

I learned public speaking from my mentor, Jack Frost, who truly mastered the art. I participated in Toastmasters for several years and even won a local contest. These things helped, however, this sermon outline I found years ago, has helped me the most. So, from here on, let’s consider the simple steps of this outline. 

1. Define A Problem 

Step one of this outline involves describing well the problem you will address. Anything you ever share will involve overcoming some problem. Therefore, the better you describe the problem the more people will tune in to where you will go in the message. Moreover, they will feel you understand the challenges they face. You start to connect with people here, empathize with them, create resonance. People come into identification and feel your topic’s relevance to their lives. For example, in one message, I share story after story of people who burned out in ministry trying to work hard enough for God’s approval. I give a clear picture of how people come to struggle with this.

I’ll continue this example in the next steps to give you a sense of how this works. Next, we’ll consider the step that reveals your heart to people rather than simply head knowledge. 

2. Me Too 

The second step of the sermon outline shares my own story of struggle. Jack Frost called this “Transparent Witnessing”: sharing openly, vulnerably, from your own life. If I claim to have the expertise to speak on a given topic, I should have the ability to tell why, from my own life. This makes me real to people and creates emotional connection. 

Continuing with my example: “I also struggled working hard for God so that He would accept me and not cast me aside.” I share my story of burnout in ministry and specific stories of how that hurt my family. Sharing your heart connects people to you. Consequently, the next step moves them to a journey in their own hearts. 

3. My Story of Finding an Answer

In step three, I share not just my struggle and problem, but what I did to overcome it.

• Where did I seek answers?
• What steps did I discover?
• What happened as I sought to apply those steps?

This takes people on a journey with you and speaks to them about their own lives.

So, in my example, “I sought mentors who had freedom over ministry burnout. I went deep receiving Prayer Ministry and learning to minister Prayer Ministry to others. This brought much healing from the fear of not measuring up to God’s approval.” I don’t simply share these facts, I tell the stories of how they occurred. At this point you want to share the good fruit that came from taking your steps. 

4. Results

For step four of your outline, share how the steps you took helped. For example, “I no longer fear God’s upset with me and that I have work hard enough to please Him. Now I have found freedom from condemnation. My relationship with my family is loving. I no longer place the demands of performance on them that I had placed on myself. We enjoy each other.” Again, share actual stories of how this happened. This encourages people to take their own steps toward freedom. Finally, let’s consider one more important step. 

5. A Call to Action

The final step gives a call to action. Maybe you call people to a prayer time of repentance and forgiveness and speaking God’s love over them. You might invite people to buy a book you wrote. Maybe to become involved in a program you offer. People want to change their lives and appreciate clarity on what to do. In conclusion, I’ll give you an easy way to remember all of this. 

The 30-30-30 Model of Public Speaking

To quickly remember this outline think of it as 30-30-30. 

In other words:

What it was like – What happened – What it’s like today. (The “Problem” – “Finding an Answer” – “Results.”) 

I’ve found that good public speaking takes hard work. Many people have spoken in public for years and yet experience mediocre results. I believe we owe it to our audiences to give it our best. I hope this post will help you on your journey. 

Fathering Leadership releases people into their destiny through one-on-one discipleship.

Simple Discipleship

The church has often had ideas that Sunday sermons, Sunday School, and conferences can disciple people. I believe this is only true in part. I believe much of the immaturity we see in the Body of Christ stems from an absence of one-on-one discipleship, or what I like to call “fathering.”

Simply defined, a disciple is a follower. If there’s a follower then, of course, there must be a leader.

In my Christian life I was in church every week for 15 years battling fears of authority and rejection. If sermons could have healed me, 15 years of them should’ve sufficed! What finally brought healing to my life was the one-on-one time I was able to have with a fathering leader, as we traveled and ministered together for several years.

An Example

Mike Wells leads CAM, the ministerial fellowship I belong to and am ordained under. He is an excellent, hands-on, intentional leader. He pours himself into a small group of leaders who then in turn disciple others. Everyone in his church receives personal attention for their spiritual growth and leadership development.

Pastoral Care

Pastoral care beautifully expresses the heart of God as people’s hearts are met personally in their times of need by a pastor. But what if we combined this type of caring with weekly one-on-one meetings, asking questions to draw out the persons heart, meeting them where they’re at, and helping them to take the next steps into God’s love and the destiny He has for them?

Sons Releasing Destiny!

Romans 8:14-18, along with Galatians 4:1-7, gives us a progression into maturity. These passages show the steps of a developing Sonship in our hearts to the point we cry out, “Abba, Father!” From this place we can begin to not only teach others, but release them into destiny.

1 Corinthians 4:15 says we have many instructors, and this is true. We have many people who can lead well. They can teach and instruct us in righteousness. They can give us direction, speak prophetically, and even tell the glory stories that inspire. But we have not many fathers.

It is fathering leadership that can help people keep their hearts engaged through the learning curves and trials of life so they don’t shut down or give up, but rather grow into living as overcomers. These are matters of the heart, not the head, and discipleship tends to be “caught” rather than “taught,” even as Jesus traveled with His followers.

I believe the church and the earth itself is groaning — even aching — for those mature sons of God who will rise up and father people into living in Gods love. Fathering leaders who use one-on-one discipleship and express the love of the Father will heal hurts and nurture hearts to life.

In order for true spiritual growth to occur there first needs to be a life-changing growth “atmosphere” created by the leader.

Unrecognized Atmospheres You Create

When you understand how certain actions create an atmosphere of health and growth while other actions create an atmosphere of guardedness and shame,  you are empowered to lead surprisingly well.

Scientifically Speaking — Family Systems Theory

Family Systems Theory gives us a way to break down and explain how this healthy leading and discipling practically work. Let’s look at this verse to connect them together:

1 Corinthians 12:21, 26 — The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!”  If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

These verses are more than an exhortation to unity — they describe a universal principle.

“Nobody lives in a vacuum.”

This is monumental. Every action you take affects other people. In a nutshell this is “Family Systems Theory.” Everyone lives and operates in some sort of a “family” every day, whether it’s a church, a business, a community, or your own extended family. And this profound understanding opens the door to successful leadership within these “families.”

Creating A Life-Changing Culture of Growth

Your leadership can do more than direct and instruct — it can inspire. Your stimulating leadership can help keep people’s hearts engaged throughout the challenges and learning curves of life. Conversely, if your leadership is negative and shaming, it may cause people to put up walls to guard their hearts and very little growth will ever occur in this environment.

There are a definable set of characteristics that every healthy family operates under and a definable set of characteristics every unhealthy family operates under. 

If a family member has fear issues, an eating disorder, addictions, or even laziness, it is not just a product of the person’s bad choices. Yes, it is partially that, but it is also a product of a system breaking down somewhere. Like the old saying in Alcoholics Anonymous goes, “the whole family gets sick,” not just the alcoholic. Every member of the family is part of that system which is either functioning well or it isn’t. Unfortunately what we haven’t considered much is that these principles apply to all families, both for the bad and the good. We’ve tended to observe mostly the unhealthy ones, but as I like to say:

“Healthy families raise healthy kids.”

If you want to learn more about these principles of having a healthy “family”and how to lead more through the Father’s Love, click here for my book, Fathering Leadership, Creating A Culture of Growth. (Also available on Kindle.)

As Fathering/Mothering Leaders, our chief joy is to see our children — natural or spiritual — arrive to the place of maturity. Dialogue Transactions is a relationship key that is so simple it can be easy to miss.

Dialogue Transactions

Do you realize that every time you have a verbal exchange with another person something is being transacted? Our speech carries an emotional environment with it that’s positive or negative. Let’s consider a few examples of these exchanges that happen every day:

• Jesting, jocularity, and sarcasm – these can create a feeling of fun, or a feeling of needing to guard your heart. It depends on the object the joking is focused on.
• Discussing responsibilities and performance – this is a necessary part of life and can be empowering if done properly. However, it can be easy to discuss these things from a shame base or with a sense of condemnation if various goals are not met.
• News, sports, and weather – these are surface level conversations. There is nothing wrong with these assuming it doesn’t dominate most of our verbal exchanges with our kids. Chris Brogan has a fun article on 5 levels of conversation.
• Connection – this is hearing each other’s hearts. This is the good stuff. As children (or spiritual children) feel listened to and valued, they deepen their identity of worth as children of God. A bit of warning though — there can be an overbalance where every conversation has to be deep. That actually has the opposite effect.

Consider Your Dialogue Transactions

Would you consider your various conversations with those you father/mother? How often are you experiencing real connection?

As you become more aware of the types of conversations you hold, you will be able improve your fathering skillssubstantially. Much healing and maturing occurs simply from inclusive, connected, and valuing conversation. These exchanges let people know they have worth in your eyes and that you care for them.

If connecting with deeper levels of conversation is difficult for you, please contact us. There are some easy ways to resolve this difficulty.

Father, bless this dear reader today to go forth into valuing conversations, where they truly hear and are truly heard.

Fathering Discipleship gives freedom, without placing expectations.

The Great Commission instructs us “to make disciples.” (Matt.28:19) This is a skill many have struggled to develop well. As I’ve sought to grow in Fathering Discipleship I found an important key — I have to let go of my expectations.

Fathering Our Own Children

Think of what it means to let go of expectations when it comes to fathering/mothering our own children.

We teach our children values and consequences. We seek to identify and call out their natural strengths. However, if we demand they embrace a certain hobby or career, we impede their autonomy and diminish intimacy between us.

Fathering Discipleship

I believe a primary characteristic of fathering/mothering others is expressing “covering love” toward the weaknesses, shortcomings, and growth process of others. (1 Pet.4:8, Rm.15:1)

Here’s a key example. You’ve overcome or become successful in an area of your life, say leading a Bible study. A younger believer you’re discipling is starting his first Bible study. He’s super excited but “doesn’t know what he doesn’t know.” You, because of your experience, easily see mistakes he’s already making. You seek to father him, gently giving input in an encouraging way. Your disciple listens a little but is fairly set in the many ideas he already has and chooses not to adhere to any of your suggestions or advice.

So here’s the Key: at this point you cover in love. You let go of expectations that your disciple will listen to your experience and learn the lessons you try to teach him. Keep loving him anyway. This is the key. You’re there to pick him up when he falls and never say, “I told you so.” You simply cover him in love. You keep giving input as he’s open to it.

People have free will. Allow them to use it. Let go of any expectations. Ultimately everyone has to find their own way forward in life. (Gal.6:5)

The Body of Christ is so in need of an army of fathering/mothering leaders to disciple the next generation. Leaders who will give freedom to their disciples to grow and learn yet cover and protect them in love.

Will you step out and learn the skills of Fathering Discipleship? Generations are waiting.

Productive Wilderness Life Series (Part 10) – Integrating the Father’s Love

We have finally arrived at part 10 of our series, “Productive Wilderness Life.” It is extremely heartbreaking to me that so many Christians are stuck when it comes to knowing how to grow into the destiny God has for them. In previous posts from this series I have covered how to embrace our “Sonship Identity,”  the ways legalism holds us back, and unpacked what walking in the Father’s love really looks like.

And now in this final post I want to speak about your calling.

Called to the Nations

Every Christian is called to the nations. Let me elaborate. Wilderness Life has as its end the Promised Land — your place of calling and destiny, the very thing God created you to do on this earth.

Here are 3 key verses that speak about your calling:

Psalms 2:8 — Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations for Your inheritance, And the ends of the earth for Your possession.

Song 8:8 — we have a little sister, and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister in the day when she is spoken for? (Will you equip the “little sisters” God places in your life to be the Bride of Christ?)

Matthew 28:19-20 — Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

So how do you know which “nation” you are called to?

You look to the realm of influence God has given you.

All Are Called

Ephesians 4:11,12 — So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for work of ministry, so that the body of Christ may be built up.

Everyone has a “work of ministry ” of some kind they are called to.

All Have A Sphere

2 Cor.10:13 — But we will not boast beyond our measure, but within the measure (Greek – Metron) of the sphere which God apportioned to us as a measure, to reach even as far as you.

Vine’s Expository on Metron: “referring to the sphere Divinely appointed for the Apostle as to his Gospel ministry; this had reached to Corinth ametros.”

All are called to the nations, to a sphere — an area where you’re connected to people. You have a sphere of influence God has appointed to you. Be life giving there.

Paying the Price

Why take God’s love to the nations (your metron)? Why endure the hardship? Because the work God will do in us and through us is absolutely priceless and nothing on earth is more fulfilling than walking in your God created purpose.

God’s heart is for people. The earth is cursed with fatherlessness and God wants to use us to set people free and restore them to intimacy with Him.

Here’s a staggering statistic: Children raised in single parent homes has gone from 20% to 70% in the past 50 years.

A large part of integrating the Father’s love is learning to give it away. As we work through our “wilderness-life” issues and become more firmly grounded in love ourselves, there is nothing more exciting in the world than to connect with others and see them healed, restored, and equipped in the Father’s love too.

Productive Wilderness Life Series (Part 8) – Integrating the Father’s Love

Fathers Love Practically Expressed as Childlike Faith

Matthew 18:3, 4 — “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

When I think of Fathers love practically expressed I think of childlike faith I think of being genuine and sincerely loving others. Masks of shame are the opposite of being genuine.

Shame is often taught in terms of masks we wear— ways we seek to appear acceptable, successful. Everyone has these at some level. None of us like to look bad.

Wilderness Life dismantles these masks and produces a deeper genuineness and simplicity. We go deeper in knowing we are loved by God.This in turn deepens our ability to love others who are also still in the process of maturing.

Learning to see others as equal brothers and sisters is the fruit of growing in a childlike faith. No dependence nor dominance, no outward locus of control, no legalism. Expressions of fraternity, brotherhood, community is God’s love walked out.

Romans 12:10 — be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Love gets communicated in everything you do and say. To help bring change through loving others, we first have to accept them, even with their differences.

Empathy – Gaining Awareness, Tolerance, and Acceptance

So how can we effectively minister to other people? God’s love is our base for integration, personal transformation, and for ministry.

Step one is growing in awareness of where your heart is really at and what needs to change. This process will begin moving you into greater tolerance and acceptance of others who are different and even difficult. When you can truly love people where they are at, it opens the door to minister to them.

Consider these main things to help you integrate:

1. Where you direct your attention – Am I focusing on all the differences/immaturities I see in others in a negative way? Seeing past the external things we notice with our natural eyes to see with Father’s heart of love is the focus that allows us to minister to others.
2. What you expect to receive – If I am going to exemplify God’s love, then I can appreciate the differences I have with others and not judge.

We can learn a tremendous amount of things about ourselves as we observe how we respond to others. Expect to be changed forever and learn to live as a son.

Next post will look facilitating a love environment.