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Agape Prayer

November 8, 2008 by Robert Hartzell

Agape Prayer is about giving rather than getting. It’s a prayer not of petition nor of intercession. It is a prayer of giving ourselves to God out of love for Him.

In your Christian Devotions take some time to sit in God’s presence, to show up, and be present with Him. Let’s consider how this might work in today’s post.

1 Corinthians 13 says that selling all that we have to give to the poor and even martyrdom can be done out of self-serving reasons rather than love.

I define agape as the God kind of love, self-sacrificial for the benefit of another. So how can we begin to live this in such a way that is really denying ourselves, taking up our cross and following Him?

It can start with prayer. But first think, why do I pray? Is it to get something from God? Maybe it is to get peace or rest or refreshing. Am I monitoring my prayer time progress and rating it-“that was a refreshing time” or “that was dry”? If I am monitoring it, then it means it is still about me and what I got out of it-back to self again.

I believe there is a place we can begin maturing into wherein we go to God only for God. To seek Him just because we love Him and desire communion with Him. To give of ourselves to Him whether we receive anything in return or not.  By practicing this self-sacrificing lifestyle in prayer, it can then more easily transfer into having agape one to another.

Filed Under: Christian Devotions

How to See Change in Your Life Through Prayer

August 9, 2008 by Robert Hartzell

How to See Change in your life through prayer.

Christian devotions have the power to transform you when you approach them in the right way.

Will Power Worship – How many times have I set my will to do better, pray more, and eat in a healthier way? Can we change ourselves? Exodus 31:13 God is the Sanctifier, Jehovah Mekadesh. Only He can help us change.

Surrender – Without realizing it I end up worshipping my own will. There is a key to transformation so simple that we often miss it. Change has to do with being simple enough to just wait in God’s presence. It is an act of surrender, faith and love. When God set me free from drugs, I had tried daily for six months to get clean. All my efforts amounted to continual defeat. Freedom came when I became weak enough to surrender. Surrender opens the way for faith as I yield my independence to trust God instead. The surrender and faith produce love in my heart as I look to God and He does for me what I cannot do for myself.

Waiting on God – The very act of waiting on God in prayer has a purifying effect. I give of my time to Him by faith and in love, not to receive anything from Him but simply to express my devotion to Him. Of course, when we give of ourselves to God we do receive; however, I believe the greatest maturity and purifying take place when we remain faithful even in the dry times.

Foster – Listen to the wise words of Richard Foster in the Celebration of Discipline: “We have only one thing to do, experience a life of relationship and intimacy with God. We rely on our willpower and determination; we pray against our habits, fight against it, set our will against it. But the struggle is all in vain, and we find ourselves once again morally bankrupt or, worse yet, so proud of our external righteousness that whitened sepulchers is a mild description of our condition. The moment we feel we can succeed and attain victory over sin by the strength of our will alone is the moment we are worshipping the will. Willpower will never succeed in dealing with the deeply ingrained habits of sin. Heini Arnold concludes, ‘As long as we think we can save ourselves by our own willpower, we will only make the evil in us stronger than ever.”

Filed Under: Christian Devotions

Fathers Loves Priority

July 18, 2008 by Robert Hartzell

Fathers Loves Priority can be a hard lesson for many of us to learn.

You often have to come to terms with the truth that we all struggle with legalism at times. It is not a one time choice to be free of this. We walk in relationship with Father God allowing His love to come in more and more.

“Can’t you see I’m working, why do you always have to interrupt me?” “Sorry Dad”, he said as he slumped his shoulders and walked away. Unfortunately, there was a time that these words often came out of my mouth to my seven-year old son.

“The Pharisees were committed to following God in a way that many of us are not prepared to do. One factor, however, was always central to their righteousness: externalism. Their righteousness consisted in control over externals, often including the manipulation of others”, (Richard Foster in the Celebration of Discipline).

We can see this in many of the characteristics of Rev. Faircloth from last weeks’ Stepping Stones (see “Wisdom Hunter” blog entry). The intensity he carried, for example. He was God’s man, he bore the load of leadership and so everyone around him was supposed to jump when he said jump. If his wife was not paying attention to him at the dinner table or she forgot to pick up the cleaners for the church meeting, he saw it as a lack of support, lack of dedication to what was important and right.

This is like the Pharisees of the Bible. They said, “How could Jesus eat with sinners? He is unclean, condoning their sin” Luke 15:1, 2. You were either with them or against them. There was no tolerance for anyone who did not think like they did or act like they did.

Rev. Fairchild had no tolerance for his daughter to wear shorts, listen to rock music or participate in mixed swimming. He had no tolerance for other “weak” Christians that did not share these views with him.

The actual rules of legalistic people can be anything, but it is the attitude behind them that inflicts control and wounding. In my case the rule was taking ministry seriously enough. If my wife or son did not share my burden or intensity, they did not measure up in my eyes; they were not supportive and certainly not aligned with what was truly important “to God”.

In the Wisdom Hunter, his wife had been reduced to a servant; real relationship had all but disappeared. Everything revolved around him and his view of what was “right”. He had become a dictator; it was not possible for him to be wrong or have weakness.

God paid a huge price for man to have free will. He rightfully could have destroyed us all for our rebellion against Him, our Maker and Provider. Instead, He so loved that He gave His only Son. He did not send His Son to condemn but to save. (John.3:16-17)

God is not the “cop in the sky” using anger and touchiness, demanding conformity in order to scare or intimidate people into following Him. He is not insecure! He does not worry what others will say if His children are not obeying Him! He just continues to draw us by cords of love, giving us repentance by His goodness if we will accept it. Unfortunately, some will not accept it and be condemned but it does not change the fact that God is love and desires that all would be saved.

I felt such pressure to minister successfully that I became controlling. I used anger, withdrawal of fellowship and touchiness, all to manipulate others into helping me reach my goal. I did not realize that my identity was in “being right” and having success in ministry rather than in the blood of Jesus alone. I had to come into a season of confession and repentance of my sin and seeking forgiveness from my family. God did a renewing work in us through that season. Most of all I learned to place love first.

John 13:35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

Filed Under: Father's Love

Wisdom Hunter Legalism and Finding Love

July 13, 2008 by Robert Hartzell

Wisdom Hunter Legalism and Finding Love

This book gives a great picture of how any of us can fall into the legalism trap and miss the very Fathers love were are called to.

Luke 15 speaks of the older brother. He was always in his father’s house and never failed to keep one of his commandments and yet never knew him.

Notice how this plays out in modern life in the following story:

“Our pastor, Jason L. Faircloth, offers you strong leadership and dynamic charisma. A seminary graduate with a master’s degree in theology, he has effectively guided our church’s growth from 48 members to 2232 in just under eleven years.” The announcement read.

Lorene sat down across from her husband, making no further attempt to lighten the mood. Looking into his face, she saw his tightly creased brow, his hardened jaw as he spoke, and his dull, narrowed eyes. More and more she had become afraid of him. His tension, she realized, had become a permanent part of their life. She lowered her head and stared into her empty plate. Jason was becoming less of a human and more of a machine. And he was destroying her.

For the hundredth time, it seemed, she was acutely reminded of what their marriage had become. She was only a house servant now. Yet she had kept on being the model pastor’s wife that everyone expected of her. Always submitting unequivocally to her husband’s authority. Always selfless. Always lay-down-and-die. That’s exactly what I’m doing: dying. She felt numb. Deprived of his intimacy and sensitivity, she knew she was near the breaking point. Would he drive away his own wife, she wondered, just as he has our daughter?

“Didn’t you hear me?’ Jason asked in a raised voice. “I’m sorry,” Lorene said quickly. “What did you say?” I asked if you picked up my suit from the cleaners this afternoon. I’ll need to wear it tonight.” She tried to sound cheerful. “It’s hanging in your closet.” “All right”, he said coldly. “Let’s pray.”

Later, at the death of their runaway daughter, Lorene:

“Jason, can’t you see it? You were a heartless, legalistic, know-it-all dictator! You forced her to leave-you and your damnable know-it-all attitude. You still don’t understand, do you? You really are blind! I don’t believe the thought’s ever crossed your mind that you could be wrong about anything, has it? You think you know it all. And anybody and everybody who disagrees with you or challenges you is wrong! Talking to you is like talking to a rock, Jason. You don’t listen to people. You disregard people’s feelings as if they were trash!”

Later

He walked through the house looking for memories of times with his daughter. But the reality was that there weren’t many, it was always, “Later, honey”; he was always too busy and later never came and now it never would. He wanted someone to talk to but there was no one. He needed someone, someone he could share his real feelings with, who would just listen, who could understand and accept his newly discovered weaknesses and not be disillusioned by them. But there was no one. For years he had distanced himself from everyone.

(Excerpt from the book Wisdom Hunter p.19-21).

This story may seem hard to imagine coming from a pastor of a large church. People in ministry are under so much pressure to meet people’s needs, to lead a group of people that are volunteers and not employees so you cannot demand anything, to be an example themselves and with their families. Most pastor’s and missionaries children grow up wounded by it all.

The needs of people are real, the financial obligations are real and the spiritual warfare is real. If you have fear and insecurity, and who doesn’t, it becomes easy to move into control and legalism.

There was a pattern of this in my life as a missionary and pastor in the Dominican Republic. I had to come into a time of repentance and seeking forgiveness and God brought a new intimacy into my family. Even for men not in ministry it is easy to become intense and “type A” as we feel the pressures of life. Abba Father calls us into loving trust!

Filed Under: Father's Love

How God Sees a Monster

June 22, 2008 by Robert Hartzell

How God Sees a Monster. Finding Gods heart of compassion towards the person behind evil behavior.

A major aspect of prayer ministry is reaching the place of seeing the hurt behind the hurtful behavior of an abuser.

When I was around five years old I had a dog named Muttly, he was named that because he was a mutt! I really loved playing with him. I would go and hide and he would always find me. One day he messed on the carpet or some such thing and my dad went into a rage. I can still picture the scene taking place in my living room. Dad started beating Muttly with his belt, backing him into a corner. He still was not satisfied and turned the belt around to hit him with the metal end. I can remember yelling, “No dad, not with the buckle!”

There were many other times when my dad became a monster. Fear entered my heart and a pattern of fear developed. There were these outrageous events that would take place growing up, experiences that reinforced fear of impending doom, fear that the world is dangerous. Many of us struggle with so many fears: health concerns, “Will I end up with diabetes or have a heart attack or cancer?”, family worries, “Will my children do well?” or “Will my marriage work out?” finances, “Will I have a retirement or even be able to pay my bills this month?”

We kind of have this evil foreboding of impending doom. So much of this comes down to, “Do I believe that God is good and that He loves me?” Over this past week I read The Shack by William Young; it really brought out this concept of whether or not I believe God is good.

Romans 12:2 says we should be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I believe much of this has to do with learning that God is good all the time. Some primary people in my life have not always chosen God’s will in relation to me, bad things have happened and I drew some wrong conclusions about God as a result. I embraced a life of fear. God has so much more!

1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” The word “perfect” here in the Greek means complete or mature. Fear in any area of my life means that there is something not completed or matured in me of love, some way I do not quite believe God is good all the time.

There was a time that the mere thought of my dad entering my mind made me punch walls. But love came and set me free. I received ministry one day over Muttly. As I was being prayed for I saw Jesus, His arm was around my shoulder and a tear was streaming down His cheek. I wondered why he was crying. Then I knew; it was for all the pain he saw in my dad’s heart that would cause him to act in such a way. He then told me that even as His arm was around my shoulder that He had always been there for me, protecting me all my life.

Boy did that change my perspective! I moved from fear and judgment to love and understanding and compassion. Love started casting fear out of my heart.

Filed Under: Prayer Ministry

Everyone Longs for a Father

April 18, 2008 by Robert Hartzell

 Everyone Longs for a Father

The heart can grow cold. For a long time I had convinced myself that I never had a father available for me and that I certainly did not need one now. I grew up in a home where my dad was often gone drinking and when he was home he was abusive. In my mid twenties he went to prison where he remains to this day. I thought I had learned to live just fine without a father in my life, but did I really?

I recently saw the movie August Rush. It starts with children in an orphanage dreaming of the day their parents or some family would come and take them. I was tearing up right away, they just wanted a family! Think of the dreams they must have had, a dad to play ball with, mom waiting with homemade cookies as they came home from school, someone to tuck them in at night.

It so happened that right after that I saw the Indian movie Salaam Bombay. It was about the street children in India. A village boy’s father died. His older brother dominated him and was mean, making him do lots of work around the house. One day, in retaliation, the boy broke his older brother’s bicycle. The mother sided with the older brother and made the boy leave until he had the money to buy another bicycle. Can you imagine a mother so numb, so existence-only oriented, that she would kick out her son to the streets so as not to annoy the older brother who was the only bread winner for this poor village family? He ended up on the streets of Mumbai. These kids are the outcasts of society, everyone harasses them and nobody cares for them. (In Brazil street children are actually often murdered by the police.) At one point he had just escaped from the police, his one friend died from drug withdrawals, he could not go home and he had no one. He just broke down and cried.

Even when we did have a relationship with our parents;

  • if they were not safe, if we had to put up walls of protection to fight off being controlled or shamed,
  • if we could not freely share our problems without being blasted with advice or made to feel condemned,
  • if love was not expressed,

we can still end up feeling abandoned at some level.

We know about Jesus as our Savior and Propitiator. We have learned much about the Holy Spirit and His gifts. Have we, however, learned to relate to our Heavenly Father?

Hebrews 12:7-9 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?

If we can receive and endure discipline then God is dealing with us as sons. This is how God wants to relate to us so we can grow and mature and fulfill the destiny that He has for each of us.

However, it then says, that if we do not receive discipline we become as illegitimate sons (no counsel, no inheritance and blessing from a father).

Finally, if we are in subjection, we live! Life flows through us, what we put our hand to prospers, and God’s favor goes before us!

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: Authority, Father's Love, Sonship

Trusting Fathers Love to Surrender to His Plan

March 29, 2008 by Robert Hartzell

Trusting Fathers Love to Surrender to His Plan

Considering what surrender looks like for God’s plan to unfold in your life works when you know Father’s love for you.

In my independence I ran from the Lord, I felt uncomfortable anywhere near a church; it confronted my lifestyle too directly. I was “in control” self-medicating with drugs and alcohol.

Our independence, I believe, is at the heart of our sin nature- my will, me being in control, to take care of myself and meet my own emotional needs.

At salvation I really “surrendered”, leaving all my old friends, a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol and I started attending church every time the doors were open. But, had Christianity now become my new way to get my own needs met? How many of us as Christians start out strong and zealous only to taper off into a lukewarm existence or worse completely backsliding? What happens? Is it that we realize that God is not going to be manipulated by us to meet our needs our way?

In Arthur Burk’s series on South Carolina he talks about the long dark night of the soul for him being a season of learning to surrender the ordering of his life to God, allowing God to determine what he needs and when. He came to surrender what he thinks God needs to do in his life at any given time.

So often we have planned out all the ways God needs to work in our lives to heal us and mature us and raise us up. God, knowing the beginning from the end, has a much better plan for our lives than we do.

At 21 years of age I felt a call to ministry. I thought I would be pastoring before thirty.  After all, my pastor had his first church before twenty five. Instead God put me in my own business where I learned many lessons and at the same time learned many things about love as I ministered in a nursing home. Then, God sent me to pastor in the Dominican Republic and to direct a medical clinic. I had never thought about missions and certainly not a medical clinic. But here my business experience turned out to be quite helpful. The point is that God had a path for me I never dreamed of; I had to surrender over and over my plan. God was never late and knew exactly how to work in my life to bring me to the place He had for me.

How do we finally start relinquishing control? I believe it takes trust- trust that God will effectively meet our emotional and material needs. Many talk a good game here but how many really and truly surrender? Coming to know the Father’s love is the best way I know to begin developing the trust necessary to start surrendering at the deeper levels.

 

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: Father's Love, How to Change

The Fathers Love by Jack Frost

March 21, 2008 by Robert Hartzell

The Fathers Love by Jack Frost was life changing for me.

Jack Frost was the most powerful teacher of the Father’s love I ever knew. It is a life changing experience to hear him or read his book “Experiencing Father’s Embrace”. Jack Frost always shared from an experiential perspective. He used his own life stories to show what life was like before the Father’s Love came and how it changed him and then the difference it made.

Experiencing Father’s Embrace shows us there are so many things we can look to for identity other than resting in love. Even ministry can be a place of identity. This can be a stronghold that will cause us to use others to fulfill our vision of successful ministry, because without success we feel like we are nobody. We will end up placing ministry ahead of our own families if we struggle in this area. One statistic showed that most children who grow up with a parent in the ministry do not want anything to do with it when they reach adulthood.

Jack Frost went on to teach that pain seeks pleasure. If we are not comforted by love we will seek it in food, alcohol, drugs, etc.

God has a place of rest and comfort for all His children when we can learn to relate to Him as a loving Father!

Check out Shiloh Place and Jack Frost articles.

 

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: Shiloh Place Ministries

The Fathers Love Changes Pastors Families

September 20, 2007 by Robert Hartzell

Fathers Love Changes Pastors Families is Amazing.

I never grow tired of hearing how the Fathers love changes pastors families.

Pastor Juan said, “I called my children and repented to them and told them I love them; when I get home I will also repent to my church and tell them I love them.” We hear testimonies of restitution and an embracing of agape vFathers love changes pastors familiesalues in place of works in every conference we do.

The Earthquake in People’s Lives

During the earthquake in Peru, as the church and relief agencies were mobilizing quickly, I thought, “Who is attending to the emotional ‘earthquakes’ in people’s lives on a day to day basis?”          

While in Peru we heard of a pastor who had built a very large church over many years. Many other churches were started all over the country as a result. A pastors network developed and they all loved this leader because he had a gift to make these various pastors feel supported and encouraged.

Unfortunately today he has left his wife of many years and is living in the US with his secretary. I know of a very similar story in Manila, Philippines. In India—many pastors physically abuse their wives. This is also true in China.

As a minister, you minister what you are. So what is coming down from these pastors as a standard over the men in the churches they preach in every Sunday?         

We believe in ministering healing and loved based values, not placing ministry above family, not having identity in how big we can grow our ministries. If we can stem the tide of the earthquakes in people’s lives, we can effect even more relief in families than in cases of natural emergencies. For every leader that begins to embrace these values, they will in turn influence all they minister to.

Thank you for helping us in this task!

Filed Under: Father's Love Tagged With: Agape reformation, Counseling, ministry, Prayer

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